god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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