just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
