I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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