His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize