Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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