What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize