there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
