Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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