There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize