I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
