meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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