Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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