I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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