Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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