I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
