Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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