he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
