Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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