onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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