I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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