Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize