You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He better not be in your backpack
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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