the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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