just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
