Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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