I hate all girls vehemently.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
