dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
