One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
