not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa