It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
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someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.