saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
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Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.