so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..