His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm just crazy horny about you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
