so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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