this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
