I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who died my cat blue again?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
