You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
