I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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