does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
