Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
