One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
