so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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