That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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