We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
