Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
