it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
