I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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