Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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