i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
And then my night got REAL pukey
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
