$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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