If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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