I met the friendliest cop last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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