its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My vagina is officially offended.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
