Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
