Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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