My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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