can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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