She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
