you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Mom said you looked used
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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